YES!!! Up with awkward!
I can think of several work relationships where we’re bravely awkward together. The trust, support, and growth in these relationships is tremendous.
So good. Not just for managers. These are great questions for anyone to ask oneself:
- Are you bored?
- Do you know why?
- Can it be shifted?
A cautionary tale:
Boredom was a seed. What was “I’m bored” grew roots and became “I’m bored and why isn’t anyone doing anything about it?” and sprouted “I’m bored, I told my boss, and he… did nothing,” and finally bloomed into “I don’t want to work at a place where they don’t care if I’m bored.”
The article gives great specifics on how to uncover and combat boredom and what boredom represents: lack of belief in the team.
This article captures why I like the game so much!
“While Neko Atsume is addictive, it is almost blissfully pointless. Humans scatter bowls of [food and toys around their virtual yards.]. Then they check back in on their smartphones periodically, hoping to spot some cute felines that have dropped by for a visit.
Neko Atsume is a game in which there’s no reward beyond the chance to admire cute cats as they poke their heads out of a pile of leaves and nap atop pillow designed to look like pancakes. That’s pretty much what hanging out with cats is like in real life too.
The best prize is their company. We feel honored when cats spend time with us … because most of the time, they just do whatever they want.”
Comparison is the thief of joy. Stop the plunder.
Lately, I’ve been noticing times when something’s really bugging me but I don’t speak up. Why don’t I say something? A few reasons:
- Don’t want to start a conflict
- Can’t figure out a “nice” way to say it
- Maybe it isn’t my place
- Don’t believe my speaking up will change anything, and therefore it’s not worth the effort
My DH offered that speaking up can simply be good practice. My reactions to that were “true” and “meh.” Poor guy, why am I dismissive of good practice? I’ll come back to that.
Good practice or not, I became aware of my attachment to a certain outcome. Maybe saying something is good practice. But when I say something and
nothing the thing that I wanted doesn’t happen, I get frustrated. My “why bother?” feelings kick in. And they stop me from trying again. This felt like an important realization! What if I could say something and let go of my attachment to a particular outcome?
That was as far as the exercise went until I saw Justine Musk‘s tweet today.
Argument doesn’t change people (good stories change people) but it helps you deepen + refine your own understanding of what you stand for.
DING went the light bulb! Her words address two areas of my struggle:
- Changing others
- Clarity of self expression
My story about speaking up is that “we can’t change other people. So it’s not my place / not worth it / why bother.” But people do change, sometimes nudged by outside influences. I can see how stories are way more effective than complaining.
Justine’s tweet also helps me in the “let go of my attachment” department. Speaking up is not about changing someone’s mind or winning an argument. It’s about getting clear about my own thinking and being able to express it. I do have feelings about some topics of our day (Uber-style businesses, the digital divide, income inequality) but rarely say anything. The times that I’ve tried to recently, I quickly get tongue tied and stall out. Maybe there’s something to this practice thing after all.
I’ve been struggling with my negativity and being down on myself for it. Seeing this article was timely for me! HT @whitneyhess on Twitter.
Attempting to suppress thoughts can backfire and even diminish our sense of contentment.
One of the primary reasons we have emotions in the first place is to help us evaluate our experiences.
Even if you successfully avoid contemplating a topic, your subconscious may still dwell on it.
Researchers found that those who restrained their thinking more often had stronger stress responses to the cues than did those who suppressed their thoughts less frequently.